Women's Retreat Part 2-He Speaks

OK, so I couldn’t wait ‘til tomorrow...

So if you know me, or if you read my other blog CupOfSensibility (also on blogger), you know that I have been consumed with doing something, anything, to help find missing teen, Sierra LaMar. About two weeks after I heard about her disappearance, I felt that God was moving in me to do something for this cause. I didn’t really stop to listen to WHAT I was supposed to be doing, but I decided on my own to join the volunteer search for her. I am a girly girl and hate bugs, dirt, mud, weeds, and wildlife. I also have a messed up body that rebels any time I try to do anything to exert it. I mean, hello, I’ve had two back surgeries, one shoulder surgery, and appendectomy and about 8 or 9 minor foot surgeries. But I decided I had to go. I had been praying for her, but I decided praying wasn’t enough. What was I thinking? Twice I got flaked on and finally a little over a week ago my husband and I went on the search. I wanted to be more in tune with the type of person she was so I read her tweets and read every bit of information I could find about her. I’ve been told I have the gift of empathy, and I agree that I do. But I tend to internalize other people’s pain so much so that it is to my own detriment. Following the search, I ached for her, for what she must be going through, had gone through, what her family and friends were going through. And I decided I must go on another search or many searches until she is found. I checked the news constantly for any word on her. It really became an obsession, but I didn’t see it. I was even a little sad about going to the retreat because it meant not being able to search for her that weekend.

So back to my quiet time at the retreat...

I sat in the warm sun, back against my log cabin, facing magnificent redwood trees, having a stare-down with a squirrel, and watching a lizard come out from under the porch, look up at me, then return back under it, only to do the same thing over and over again many times. I had read Psalm 139 over and over again. Finally, I closed my eyes. In my mind, I asked God what He wanted or needed to say to me. I wasn’t expecting much. But He spoke. He broke my heart and healed it again. All of this within fifteen minutes.

The first thing He told me was, “She is My child and is in My hands. She called out to me and I heard her.” I began to cry. I don’t know what has happened to her, but I realized at that moment that God has it under control. I need to let go. I will still search for her if that opportunity arises, but I don’t need to obsess. She is His. I do believe that she called out to Him. I don’t know the circumstances. I pray she is alive and well and will somehow make her way back to her family. But at least I know that God, her true Father, is with her. One I had my cry, I felt so at peace. It is not for me to bring her home, but for Him. I also felt that He convicted me that prayer is what matters most, not running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Prayer is the first and best resource I have. And maybe I am to show that to others. I tend to use it as a last resort after seeking counsel and trying to make my own way. That has to change.

I thought He was done talking to me at that point. But He wasn’t! A few minutes later, the following verse stuck in my head and repeated over and over...”Be still and know I am God.” I wasn’t sure at that point if it was a verse...I couldn’t remember. I knew it was in a song, though. Later, when I returned to the meeting hall, I was looking at some jewelry that was for sale. What did I find but a bracelet with “Be still and know I am God.” It is from Psalm 46:10. I bought it as a reminder when I am going crazy trying to do too much, and as a reminder of how He spoke to me.

There is so much more to write about...especially other things Debbie Alsdorf shared. But I will leave that for another blog post.

I pray for you all, that you, too, will hear from God as I did. I never in a million years thought it would happen to me, but He does speak. Hallelujah!

On My Church's Women's Retreat-Part 1

I attended my first church women’s retreat this past weekend. I am in awe! It was tons of fun! Not that I expected otherwise, but then, actually, I didn’t know really what to expect.

My sis, Bobbie, and I started the day at 10 a.m. and went shopping because I had decided the night before that I HAD to have jean capris to wear. Having not worn any in probably a year, I could not find mine. I bought a really cute pair.

Next we went to get pedicures. It was really relaxing and I love my blue toes with a flower design made out of little crystals.

We then had a yummy lunch at a chinese restaurant and then made our way to Santa Cruz. We tooled around the town for awhile and stopped at Gayle’s Bakery. If you’ve never had Gayle’s you absolutely MUST! The creme brulee was so rich and yummy!

Finally, we made our way to Kennolyn resort. It is a super cute little place with cabins and little storefronts that can be used for activities.

Once we settled in, we played ping pong or shall I say we attempted to play ping pong but mostly ended up chasing the balls down a hill.

We were challenged to a tournament by our tech guy for the weekend, whom Bobbie called Jake-ette as this was a women’s retreat after all! He creamed us.

We then had a scrumptious dinner. I can’t even begin to tell you how great the food is at Kennolyn. I felt like royalty. There was salmon that was perfectly cooked and moist, vegetable lasagna, and yummy pie, among a myriad of other things.

We heard a taste of our speaker, Debbie Alsdorf, If you ever have the opportunity to hear Debbie speak, DO IT! Oh my gosh, she is so personable and REAL. Her life is an open book and she shows you how to relate what she teaches to real life experiences. She opened up the discussion series talking about the three “P’s”--position, purpose and passion. About how God wants us to know who we are in Him so that we can understand His purpose for us. She really brought home how He knows each of us, protects us, and made us--and values all He has made.

After she spoke,  it was off to bed for us. Bobbie and I were sharing a room with two other ladies. They were totally sweet and we found out we have knitting and crocheting in common so watch out Shoreline, you may soon have a knitting or craft ministry coming!

I didn’t sleep so well but mainly because it was too quiet! I guess I’m too used to the sounds of cars driving by on my street and the highway sounds from a few blocks down. It was perfectly still and silent at Kennolyn. It was lovely to look out our skylight and see the stars above. I do have to confess, though, that I had scared the other ladies with talk of Jason from Friday the 13th. It’s what I do! No one wanted to sleep by the door even though there was an empty bed. My bad.

The next day, we heard from three ladies from my church on Romans 12:12. Maureen a.k.a. “Auntie Mo” spoke on the part, “Be joyful in hope.”  I loved her illustration on faith, hope and trust. She stated that faith is one side of a coin; hope the other side, the actual coin IS trust. We must hope with a strong and confident expectation. In chaos, there is no joy or hope. We must trust and continue to believe when we can’t see hope and faith. Amy then spoke on “Patient in affliction.” Specifically, she spoke on the sacrifice of praise. We must praise Him even when we can’t move another step. Finally, Sherry spoke about being “Faithful in prayer.” What we really believe we should be doing (praying), we will make a priority. I am going to do this! Many things get in the way of our prayer life but we must get on our knees each day because something happens each time we pray, even if we don’t know it.

After these wonderful ladies spoke, we were asked to go alone to a place where we could quietly pray and hopefully hear from God. The ladies had stated they wanted each of us to have a defining moment with Him while on the retreat. I went back to my cabin and sat on the porch stairs at the side. I could look at the redwoods before me. In fact, as I sat there,  a fat, fluffy squirrel watched me watching him. I usually have a hard time being still or shutting off my mind to hear anything of importance. Nevertheless, I did try. When I felt my mind racing, I began to read Psalm 139 as I knew Debbie would be speaking on it later. I read it over and over. Then I put it aside and closed my eyes and just listened. He did something amazing. He spoke.

(To be continued tomorrow...)