Something Amazing

Have you ever felt like something amazing was just out of reach? This is how I feel right now. I feel like I'm climbing and climbing to the top of what feels like Mt. Everest, just to get a glimpse of the view on the other side. No matter how hard I try, the mountain continues to loom, and the fruits of my labor are just a few steps further, yet never within reach. But I will continue on this trek set out before me by my Lord. I will crawl if I have to, on hands and knees, reaching, fingernails scraping the ragged edge of the cliff to reach what He has for me. Eventually it will be revealed. It has to.

My Interpretation of Psalm 139

You have memorized each aspect of my being, Lord;

You know me through and through.

You see when I sink into my comfy chair to catch my breath,
And when I stretch to greet the morning sun.
Every thought that rushes through my brain, you capture and record in your Book of Life
You observe me rushing through the daily chores of life,
And when I collapse into my bed in exhaustion.
You know everything I will ever do.
When a word is but a thought,
You see it in the deep recesses of my mind.
You place your hand on the small of my back to guide me,
Yet it is there to hold me back from danger, also.
Your hand rests gently upon my head to remind me that you are there.
Knowing you accelerates my heart rate,
And butterflies flutter in my stomach because of Your great love.
Yet when I am rebellious, I try to turn from you,
But there is nowhere to go that I won’t be found.
You are like air, all around, everywhere, enveloping me in Your presence.
If I climb the highest mountain peak,
I am even closer to you in your heavens.
If I try to crawl into a pit of despair,
You find me, even there.
If I set out on an early morning trek,

You are already awake and waiting for me,

To join me on my excursion.
If I sail away on the farthest seas,
You lull me with the waves of your love.
No matter where I go,

You guide and protect me.

When I believe I’m well hidden under the weight of my sin,
You see the light in me that comes from loving you,
The perfect light that cannot be extinguished.
You created each intricate facet of me.
Before I had any knowledge of my being,
You knew exactly who I would one day become.
I am in awe of how you love me
And have planned my destiny.
How you so wonderfully made me.
How can I ever think badly of myself when I am
A reflection of you?
When I was not yet formed,
You infused me with the precise formula to make me
Who I would become in you.
You watched me grow,
And calendared each of my days according to your will.
You wrote the story of my life.
I stand amazed at how carefully planned I was by you,
From the beginning of time.
Your love is unfathomable.
Your dreams for me are too intricate  count
Please, Lord, protect me from all harm,
So I can continue to worship you, distraction-free.
Many mock my faith in you,
And slander your precious name.
But I will fight for you,
Even against those who entice wicked thoughts in me.
I will strive to convince them of your holy ways.
My enemies are many, but you are more.
Examine my heart, God,
Help me persevere as Job.
Yet I am afraid to ask you to sift me.
Can I hold up from your testing?
Weed out any wickedness from my soul,
And help me to follow you
Until I am called home.

Women's Retreat Part 2-He Speaks

OK, so I couldn’t wait ‘til tomorrow...

So if you know me, or if you read my other blog CupOfSensibility (also on blogger), you know that I have been consumed with doing something, anything, to help find missing teen, Sierra LaMar. About two weeks after I heard about her disappearance, I felt that God was moving in me to do something for this cause. I didn’t really stop to listen to WHAT I was supposed to be doing, but I decided on my own to join the volunteer search for her. I am a girly girl and hate bugs, dirt, mud, weeds, and wildlife. I also have a messed up body that rebels any time I try to do anything to exert it. I mean, hello, I’ve had two back surgeries, one shoulder surgery, and appendectomy and about 8 or 9 minor foot surgeries. But I decided I had to go. I had been praying for her, but I decided praying wasn’t enough. What was I thinking? Twice I got flaked on and finally a little over a week ago my husband and I went on the search. I wanted to be more in tune with the type of person she was so I read her tweets and read every bit of information I could find about her. I’ve been told I have the gift of empathy, and I agree that I do. But I tend to internalize other people’s pain so much so that it is to my own detriment. Following the search, I ached for her, for what she must be going through, had gone through, what her family and friends were going through. And I decided I must go on another search or many searches until she is found. I checked the news constantly for any word on her. It really became an obsession, but I didn’t see it. I was even a little sad about going to the retreat because it meant not being able to search for her that weekend.

So back to my quiet time at the retreat...

I sat in the warm sun, back against my log cabin, facing magnificent redwood trees, having a stare-down with a squirrel, and watching a lizard come out from under the porch, look up at me, then return back under it, only to do the same thing over and over again many times. I had read Psalm 139 over and over again. Finally, I closed my eyes. In my mind, I asked God what He wanted or needed to say to me. I wasn’t expecting much. But He spoke. He broke my heart and healed it again. All of this within fifteen minutes.

The first thing He told me was, “She is My child and is in My hands. She called out to me and I heard her.” I began to cry. I don’t know what has happened to her, but I realized at that moment that God has it under control. I need to let go. I will still search for her if that opportunity arises, but I don’t need to obsess. She is His. I do believe that she called out to Him. I don’t know the circumstances. I pray she is alive and well and will somehow make her way back to her family. But at least I know that God, her true Father, is with her. One I had my cry, I felt so at peace. It is not for me to bring her home, but for Him. I also felt that He convicted me that prayer is what matters most, not running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Prayer is the first and best resource I have. And maybe I am to show that to others. I tend to use it as a last resort after seeking counsel and trying to make my own way. That has to change.

I thought He was done talking to me at that point. But He wasn’t! A few minutes later, the following verse stuck in my head and repeated over and over...”Be still and know I am God.” I wasn’t sure at that point if it was a verse...I couldn’t remember. I knew it was in a song, though. Later, when I returned to the meeting hall, I was looking at some jewelry that was for sale. What did I find but a bracelet with “Be still and know I am God.” It is from Psalm 46:10. I bought it as a reminder when I am going crazy trying to do too much, and as a reminder of how He spoke to me.

There is so much more to write about...especially other things Debbie Alsdorf shared. But I will leave that for another blog post.

I pray for you all, that you, too, will hear from God as I did. I never in a million years thought it would happen to me, but He does speak. Hallelujah!

On My Church's Women's Retreat-Part 1

I attended my first church women’s retreat this past weekend. I am in awe! It was tons of fun! Not that I expected otherwise, but then, actually, I didn’t know really what to expect.

My sis, Bobbie, and I started the day at 10 a.m. and went shopping because I had decided the night before that I HAD to have jean capris to wear. Having not worn any in probably a year, I could not find mine. I bought a really cute pair.

Next we went to get pedicures. It was really relaxing and I love my blue toes with a flower design made out of little crystals.

We then had a yummy lunch at a chinese restaurant and then made our way to Santa Cruz. We tooled around the town for awhile and stopped at Gayle’s Bakery. If you’ve never had Gayle’s you absolutely MUST! The creme brulee was so rich and yummy!

Finally, we made our way to Kennolyn resort. It is a super cute little place with cabins and little storefronts that can be used for activities.

Once we settled in, we played ping pong or shall I say we attempted to play ping pong but mostly ended up chasing the balls down a hill.

We were challenged to a tournament by our tech guy for the weekend, whom Bobbie called Jake-ette as this was a women’s retreat after all! He creamed us.

We then had a scrumptious dinner. I can’t even begin to tell you how great the food is at Kennolyn. I felt like royalty. There was salmon that was perfectly cooked and moist, vegetable lasagna, and yummy pie, among a myriad of other things.

We heard a taste of our speaker, Debbie Alsdorf, If you ever have the opportunity to hear Debbie speak, DO IT! Oh my gosh, she is so personable and REAL. Her life is an open book and she shows you how to relate what she teaches to real life experiences. She opened up the discussion series talking about the three “P’s”--position, purpose and passion. About how God wants us to know who we are in Him so that we can understand His purpose for us. She really brought home how He knows each of us, protects us, and made us--and values all He has made.

After she spoke,  it was off to bed for us. Bobbie and I were sharing a room with two other ladies. They were totally sweet and we found out we have knitting and crocheting in common so watch out Shoreline, you may soon have a knitting or craft ministry coming!

I didn’t sleep so well but mainly because it was too quiet! I guess I’m too used to the sounds of cars driving by on my street and the highway sounds from a few blocks down. It was perfectly still and silent at Kennolyn. It was lovely to look out our skylight and see the stars above. I do have to confess, though, that I had scared the other ladies with talk of Jason from Friday the 13th. It’s what I do! No one wanted to sleep by the door even though there was an empty bed. My bad.

The next day, we heard from three ladies from my church on Romans 12:12. Maureen a.k.a. “Auntie Mo” spoke on the part, “Be joyful in hope.”  I loved her illustration on faith, hope and trust. She stated that faith is one side of a coin; hope the other side, the actual coin IS trust. We must hope with a strong and confident expectation. In chaos, there is no joy or hope. We must trust and continue to believe when we can’t see hope and faith. Amy then spoke on “Patient in affliction.” Specifically, she spoke on the sacrifice of praise. We must praise Him even when we can’t move another step. Finally, Sherry spoke about being “Faithful in prayer.” What we really believe we should be doing (praying), we will make a priority. I am going to do this! Many things get in the way of our prayer life but we must get on our knees each day because something happens each time we pray, even if we don’t know it.

After these wonderful ladies spoke, we were asked to go alone to a place where we could quietly pray and hopefully hear from God. The ladies had stated they wanted each of us to have a defining moment with Him while on the retreat. I went back to my cabin and sat on the porch stairs at the side. I could look at the redwoods before me. In fact, as I sat there,  a fat, fluffy squirrel watched me watching him. I usually have a hard time being still or shutting off my mind to hear anything of importance. Nevertheless, I did try. When I felt my mind racing, I began to read Psalm 139 as I knew Debbie would be speaking on it later. I read it over and over. Then I put it aside and closed my eyes and just listened. He did something amazing. He spoke.

(To be continued tomorrow...)

Getting Involved in Ministry/Discovering Spiritual Gifts

I’ve tried to find my ministry niche at my church for many years. When I first started going to church, the church was reading the Purpose Driven Life. There is a whole section on figuring out your spiritual gifts. I filled out questionnaires and read books all to discover that I couldn’t really figure out what my gifts were. I was sure I had none. I was a baby Christian with nowhere to serve. Looking back, I now know I could’ve served anywhere or everywhere and figured things out from there. Unfortunately, I was looking for the perfect fit.

One of our pastors spent a lot of time with me trying to help me figure things out. He asked me if I put aside any worries about my limitations, the logistics, etc, what would I want to do? I wanted to start a singles ministry. The church had an unofficial one. I was told that they preferred a husband and wife team to lead the singles group so as to avoid any dating drama, but still I was invited to meet with the unofficial single’s group leader to see if we could pull something together, and also to try to find a team to help out and people interested in joining. I really didn’t know anyone and I have to say, I dropped the ball. I’m an introvert and the idea of wrangling ministry leaders and members scared the hell out of me.

Next, I tried Children’s Ministry. I went through the fingerprinting process and started working in the nursery. It was a decent fit as I like babies. But then I got rubbed the wrong way. I apparently received a call after I went to sleep one Saturday night (my phone registered the time as 11:30 p.m.) telling me that I was needed the next morning to work in the nursery even though I wasn’t scheduled. I had plans to go out of town. I couldn’t get a hold of the leader the next morning and basically spent the day feeling bad and stressing that everyone thought I was a flake. Instead of being gracious and moving forward, I dropped out of the ministry.

Fast forward a few years...

I joined the church’s ministry that visits folks in convalescent hospitals. I loved it! But then my back gave out. I loved spending time with the residents but found myself bending to talk to them or hold hands, etc. Just standing and moving from room to room aggravated my back. Again, I stopped ministry.

Two surgeries later...

I underwent a few surgeries but still have issues and find that I can’t do the things I want to.  My church started a Ministry Launch team and I asked if we could have a “card” ministry. I found out we already had one and I was invited to join. I was thrilled as I love to write (not that you could tell...). For about a year I have been writing notes to members of the congregation letting them know our prayer team prays for their requests each week. I love that I can put my own spin on the cards. I look up relevant scripture verses to write at the top of the cards and then literally write a prayer to the person. I’m horrible at praying out loud or in front of others, but I love to write prayers. Our ministry also does cards for schools to let them know we pray for them during these difficult times. I think this is my favorite part of the ministry.

Although I loved my card ministry, I still felt that there was more I was supposed to be doing. I still didn’t know what, though. My church started a Monday night service and I really felt that I was supposed to somehow be a part of it. Yet I let fear overtake me. It’s not like I knew how to actually DO anything.

One Sunday I wasn’t able to make it to church so my husband and I decided to check out the Monday service. If you don’t know Shoreline, let me tell you, it is huge. There are hundreds of people at the three Sunday services. You can be completely anonymous if you want to. I always had been. The Monday service was different.

There were about 50 people at the service, if even. It was very intimate, with lights dim. Our lead pastor came over and talked to us. It was actually the first time I had officially met him although I felt like I’d known him for years because he is so engaging. Out bulletin contained a flyer asking if anyone would like to help out for Monday services. It listed the different areas in which help was needed. You could check off a box and return it during the offering. All during the service I felt like I was being nudged to fill it out. I felt like God was saying, “Hello, even if you flop, there are only fifty people here to see it.” I had always thought about applying to be a lyrics operator. I mean, how hard could it be?I think what kept me from it previously had been my fear of messing up in front of hundreds of people. I really had no excuse now. So I filled it out. And two days later I received an email about the position. I went in to meet with the Technical Director and began training. He did not expect me to know what I was doing, or to have any experience. He didn’t even seem to be annoyed that I had no clue what I was doing and acted like a ditzy blonde!

All this happened the week before Christmas. I volunteered for the Christmas Eve services at 4:30 p.m. and 11 p.m. That way I would have time to do an early Christmas Eve dinner with my mom. That day I got major stage fright. I was literally feeling sick to my stomach that I would screw something up in front of many seekers who may have decided to check out the church spur of the moment. I had sent an email to my boss stating my concerns. He wrote me back and the gist of what he said was that as long as I strove for excellence that was all that was expected. And that even if something went wrong, God can use any situation to reach others and maybe that is what was needed. I have never forgotten these words. And believe me, I do screw up. Quite often, in fact! But the staff never beats me over the head or gets mad about it. Ever. Oh and by the way, nothing went wrong during my Christmas services. Although I heard there were some demon spiders come out of the Christmas tree wreaking havoc at prior services!

Anyway, I guess my point is, don’t be afraid to get involved in ministry! There are so many opportunities and more than likely others will be quite willing and happy to train you! Don’t be afraid to branch out, out of your comfort zone. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me! I feel like I am truly in God’s will now and I’m never happier than when I am doing his work to support others in their experience with Him. After nearly 8 years, I have discovered my spiritual gifts (at least some of them). It takes trial and error but you have to be willing to step out and give it a try.

Anyway, that’s all for now folks!

On Easter

As Easter approaches, I've been doing a lot of thinking about its meaning. To some it means dyeing and hiding  Easter eggs, filling baskets  with candy and treats, eating said treats, having Easter dinner, and spending time with family and friends, maybe even going to church, what the hay?

To me, Easter is the most significant holiday there is. It begins on Good Friday when I mourn my Savior's gruesome and horribly torturous death. I remember the price He paid to save my lowly soul from captivity in hell due to my sin. How could someone love me so much to do such a thing? It's amazing. And it is TRUE.

I wish I would've known this when I was in my teen years and felt that the world was ending on a daily basis, that my life was over, or sadly wasn't over soon enough and I wanted to help it along. But everything in its own season. I learned the truth when I was meant to and not a second sooner.

My church's Good Friday services are always so beautiful. I remember one year entering into the sanctuary that was filled with fog. The lights were dimmed. There was a cross in front of the stage. I literally felt as if I was in the Garden of Gethsemane. On a prior Good Friday, each person that wanted to could write their sins on a slip of paper and then literally nail the list onto the cross. Although beautiful, Good Friday services are heartrendingly sad. It is on this day each year that I truly remember the price that was paid for me. I'm horrified anew by what was done to Jesus. Last weekend my pastor said something I hadn't known before. Jesus was scourged 39 times. For those of you that don't know what scourging is...here you are, but be warned--it isn't pretty:

"A scourge (from Italian scoriada, from Latin excoriare = "to flay" and corium = "skin") is a whip or lash, especially a multi-thong type used to inflict severe corporal punishment or self-mortification on the back."

But it wasn't the fact that He was scourged that caused me pause...it was the number. Why 39 times? I mean wouldn't it make more sense to do it in "tens" (not that this type of punishment could ever make sense)? Then my pastor gave the reason...the ones who had designed the punishment had found that a person could more often than not survive 39 scourges, but forty would usually kill a person. Wow. I don't understand how anyone could inflict a punishment that would leave another bloody, scarred, and to the brink of death. How could they live with themselves? Yet it had to be done...

I tend to leave the Good Friday service with tear streaked face and heavy heart.

And then Sunday comes...

Easter Sunday is a celebration. I wake up with such hope in my heart. Hope that I'm not alone, that this is not the end, that there is more to come...

Our Easter service is a joyful celebration that although Jesus died, He rose again! Because of this, I have a great comforter and redeemer, someone to intercede for me, someone to be there in my darkest hours to be my best friend and anything else I could ever need. There is hope in this desolate world! There is a plan for my life, and for everyone who believes! His death was not in vain! I wish everyone could know the joy I feel and the hope I have that can only come from Him. So many doubt, are broken down or defeated and I wish they just knew! But I will continue to scatter seed wherever and whenever I can.

If you never have before...I strongly recommend you go to an Easter service this year. Allow yourself to feel the magnitude of what God has done for you, whether you believe or question, whatever,...He will fill in the blanks. So come celebrate!

On Prayer and Hearing From God

Today I had the pleasure of hearing author Marilyn Hontz speak to the women of my church on the subject of prayer. All I can say is, "WOW! I am in awe!" Marilyn had us laughing and crying. She spoke about how her precious mother kept prayer journals for many years. Through these, she left a great legacy to her children. They learned of her prayers and answers to prayer. I am so inspired to do the same. I don't know if I'm disciplined enough to actually write a journal, but I can always record my prayers and answers to prayer through...what else?...this BLOG!

Today while listening to Marilyn, I believe I was being nudged by God regarding my bible study as yet to be written. For weeks I've been tossing around ideas in my mind, but haven't felt convicted to write about any one of the ideas. Today, I think I have more clarity. I have always wanted to be like others I know who seem to clearly hear from God. Part of my problem in not hearing from God is that I never make the time to be still and be with Him. I know this would be the first step in hearing from Him. I've felt called recently (in December) into being more of a participant in ministry and I have answered that call. I know it is from Him because it feels so right and I have a passion for it. I have also felt called to write a bible study for YEARS! And have not accepted this call. Well, I have, but I haven't actually started. Today I decided that I'm going to write a study about hearing from God. I plan to document my efforts in building a closer relationship with Him and hopefully this will resonate with others. I know this will be hard for me as I want instant results. Part of the reason I haven't written a book yet is because I want to start and finish it immediately! I don't want it to take time and research. This process will definitely stretch me but Lord knows I need it!

I can say I have heard from God once. And in a big way! It happened in a dream, but that is another story...

Til later, I leave you with the words of our Women's Ministry Director, Sherry Harney:

"Live with Him.
Live like Him.
Live for Him."

I Need Input Re: Bible Study Ideas

Ok, so I am planning to write a bible study but have no idea what to write it on! There are so many options and I'm having a hard time settling on one.

I would love some input if you are willing?!? What topics would you want to see covered in a bible study if you were to take one? Would you prefer it be on a person from the bible? Or on a specific subject?

I have taken both types of studies and have loved each one! I've done them on: the life of David, Breaking Free (from strongholds, guilt, etc), Psalms of Ascent, the Pentateuch (first five books of the bible). Can you tell I LOVE bible study? Those are just a few of the ones I've taken. I know that writing one on a specific subject or person would be easier than a more abstract topic.

One subject that speaks to me, though, is overcoming guilt and a sordid past. Maybe that would make for a good starting point. Write what you know, ya know? I'm still praying about all this but would still love some feedback on what people would actually like to learn. I plan on doing much research and learning along with what I'm writing.

Anyway, that's a wrap for now. I look forward to your feedback. Someone? Anyone? People I don't know who have stumbled across this blog, this means you too!

Toodles!

On Worship...and My Past

Today was a great day of worship! Actually, for me it began last night. As you may be familiar, I am a lyrics operator at my church, which basically means I select and set up the backgrounds and lyrics slides for our worship services. We had guest worship leader/songwriter, Jared Anderson, lead worship for us. Rehearsal (for me) began at 8 p.m., when Jared arrived. However, I arrived about 20 minutes early. Our Shoreline band was practicing prior to Jared arriving, and they were absolutely rocking it! They had the songs down pat, and when Jared arrived, they completely nailed it. Our worship band amazes me each day! I think Jared was blown away also.

I'd have to say that Jared's song, "Great I Am," takes me to a place in my mind where it is just God and I. It takes me back to the moment I first accepted Jesus as my savior , and fell in love with Him, a little over 8 years ago. I had previously been in a pit so deep and slimy I never thought I'd be able to claw my way out. And, in fact, I wasn't able to...not without Him. I was about to get back into a relationship that had previously ended, not by my choice. The guy was wanting to rekindle it. It was completely unhealthy. I cannot even begin to tell you how much so. I was also on major pain medication and muscle relaxers because I had hurt my back. I was completely depressed and probably more susceptible to getting back into this relationship. My son had been visiting with his grandparents a few hours away. When he returned, he told me how much he liked going to mass with them. I had been considering going to Shoreline for years but had never gotten the guts to do so. I wasn't brought up with church, God, Jesus, or anything of that nature. I figured, though, that I should keep up my son's momentum with the churchgoing so we went to Shoreline that first Sunday.

I fell in love. The pastor was doing a sermon on a book the church was reading called The Purpose Driven Life. The sermon hit home with me so much so that I bought the book that day and read it within just a few more. Apparently God was working on me during that time because my friend asked if I'd like to borrow her bible. I did, expecting that it would read like Greek as it always had previously. To my amazement, I could understand it this time! I couldn't remember if my friend had said to read John or 1John or any of the other Johns, so I read all of the above. A few days later, my friend sat with me while on a break at work and I accepted Jesus into my heart. A month later I was baptized in a small pool during a freezing cold day in November.

I was terrified! I felt like I had to "be good." And was I ready for this commitment? What if I changed my mind? Would lightning strike? I felt like my heart was flip-flopping in my chest all of the time, much like being in an exciting new love relationship. And that is just what it was!

Mostly because I was afraid of messing up, I did not go back into that relationship, and because of that, I (Jesus) probably saved my own life. I have no idea what the consequences would have been, but Jesus loved me enough to spare me. I won't say that the next 8 years were a walk in the park...there have definitely been ups and downs. Times when I have questioned my faith, argued with God over the "unfairness" of situations, backslid...you name it, I've probably done it wrong.

But I have to say, the last year I have experienced more growth than I ever thought possible. I went from reading the bible a few times a week, when I had time, to making time to read it each day. I began writing for the card ministry which I love so much. Last December I joined the Shoreline Production Team and have really found my niche. I love it! I get to be behind the scenes but still involved in the music which I love so much. I think God has provided me with the gift of doing it well. I am also involved in a women's bible study that offers me such support and fellowship. I actually hear God's promptings for my life instead of making my own decisions and hoping God said yes to them. When there is no answer, I know that this, itself, is an answer not to proceed until I hear his ok. I cannot emphasize how much that even if you feel you have no idea what you are doing, if God prompts you to serve, jump in and do it! I wasted seven years being too afraid to budge, thinking I was not equipped to do anything. My church offers training and they are so patient and supportive in helping one find the right ministry. Everyone is given gifts and these gifts must be used to promote the kingdom of God!

Even while writing this, I think I have heard a prompting of His will for my life. I've felt for a couple of years that I am supposed to write a bible study. I always push this call aside because I feel like I am ill-equipped and really have no idea where to start. Should be taking a spoonful of my own medicine right? I've written excerpts of situations from the bible, really trying to place the reader right into the situation, to give them the feel for it. I've shared these with the ladies from my previous bible study and they informed me I must do something with my gift of writing. I still declined. But recently I have rekindled a friendship with someone from my youth who is also a writer. We've been writing short stories and entering writing contests, all the while encouraging each other each step of the way. I've also started writing this blog and another. I KNOW how to write! And I think I do a decent job of it most of the time. Thus, I CAN answer this prompt from God, and really, I must! I've been forcing myself to write within the time constraints of contests as well as the word limits. This has been good practice, and I may continue to do so. But my heart hasn't been completely in it, and I believe this is because I am supposed to be writing something else, something in obedience to my Lord. I know it will be a lot of work, but it is my calling. He will guide me each step of the way. I have no idea where this will take me, but i f nothing else---I will have researched and learned so much more about the God I love and serve and love TO serve! I've no idea how to get published, or even what to base the study on at this point. I just know that I must do. So off I go...thanks for listening/readin!

In the Palm of Your Hand

In The Palm Of Your Hand

You pulled me out of the fire
Into Your strong embrace
Now I can stand tall
Through the trials that I face

You never leave me
Never forsake me
Hold me in the palm of Your hand
With You so near me, forever I'll stand

You lifted me from the depths
Brushed me off once again
Now I can stand firm
And cast away my sin

You never leave me
Never forsake me
Hold me in the palm of Your hand
With You so near me, forever I'll stand

One day, You'll lift me from this world
And we'll come face to face
How will I respond
When shown Your mercy and grace?

How will I respond
When shown Your mercy and grace?
O, Lord, Your mercy and grace

I Come Undone

I Come Undone

I once hung my head in shame
Didn't know You, how Your love rang true
How sorry I am
For the things that I did

But You died on the cross for my sin
How can words be enough to thank You for this love
How grateful I am
My heart feels alive again

I come undone by Your love
It sends shivers through me
How my sould longs for Thee
I come undone by Your love

This world is heavy with sin
Come back to this place, please bring us Your grace
O, I beg this of You
How we long for Your truth

And when the end has come
Your voice will ring out, how the angels will shout
How joyful I am
To have called You my friend

I come undone by Your love
It sends shivers through me
How my soul longs for Thee
I come undone by Your love

Novelist...or Poet?

Wow, so God is doing a major work in me right now...I've no idea what His intentions are! I was so on fire for writing short stories had every intent on writing a novel and a bible study, not necessarily in that order. And now all of a sudden it is all about poetry and songwriting. I've no idea where this is going but I'm posting them in the hopes that they resonate with someone and bring comfort or hope. We could all use some of that right?